Throwing Pi
The calculation of pi may be done by simply opening your Dept. of Education log book of by pressing the pi button on your fx-83c as reccomended by your friendly maths teacher. This business of throwing pies about won't pass your exams - you've got to knuckle down there now and stop fooling yourself.
Johnnie Wrafter
TS Responds: The internet allows me a forum to diss my old maths teacher but I am going to resist the temptation, although I will say this: I got better grades after I left his class, all he taught me was that authority figures were not automatically worthy of repect, they had to earn it just like anyone else. That's probably a valuable thing to know.
Music played on show
please advise who plays the sax on your show, I love the going off music and would like to obtain it.Please advise.
Irwin Eagle
TS Responds: Show? Music? The ‘going off’ music? The show itself holds the key to this riddle, watch regularly and the answer will become clearer and clearer to you. As a matter of academic interest though, what in blazes are you talking about?
The ???????
Saturday 16th June Blooming Blooms day passing in a car near Tesco a very shifty looking character with a large nose bottletop glasses dark 60’s tweed jacket serious determined facial expression carrying the Irish Times was spotted. Most remarkably after all these years and the introduction of the internet and other communication media he still to this day was carrying a considerable amount of pens. All colours similar shapes all proudly displayed on his lapel like army medals.Who is this man do you remember him? He is a master of his trade and seemed to almost recognise us as we peered kerbcrawling through the rain out of our classic Grey Golf into his complex yet so simple face.
If you want any details on his appearance or the experience we would be happy to give them to you.
TS Responds: He sounds like one of our staff reporters, does this guy need a job?
The begrudgery of the common goat
It came to my attention while reading the rantings of a madman that you are a wolf in goats clothing. It is my duty as a long eared dead gold fish that this will not go on for much longer I leave with the thought that Billy Crystal is Garry Shandling and Seinfelds love child.
sid.nonsense
TS Responds: Umm, ok then. That’s just fine. This would be in relation to what exactly?
Bhuddist Blarney
Dear Mr Angry,I was directed to your CD review by a very good friend of mine. As a Bhuddist I have been trained in the ways of peace and deep breathing but I have to protest at your reccomendation that people listen to me rather than the artists in your review.
In between meditation and tending the peace garden I have no time left for show business.
May your path lead you there, yours,
Sum Dhed Rhappa, The Ashram, Gondsphada.
TS Responds: My friend, Armitage Shanks, extends his apologies. I have spoken to my Swami, Ali Pogostik Alamudad, and he feels that people should listen to him instead, so as to promote inner wealth.
TomatoSoup
Hello Tranter Old Spot, It’s me, Bertie, again. Just found this site called TomatoSoup - I was searching for recipes - so I thought of you, my old sot. It’s like that Wymsey place but different, come to think of it, it’s not at all the same. How goes the courgette harvest? Anyway, keep chugging.
Bertie Transom
TS Responds: The courgette harvest continues apace, as always. I went to Wimsey once, and there was this huge gnome there, very odd.
A night in St Tropez with Niamh Cogan
Dear Conor, Well I hope that you are feeling better. All I can say is lukily I telephoned you to reconfirm your flight details. I’m really looking forward to seeing you all. Tommrow night we have planned to bring you night clubbing in Cannes. We will return directly on saterday night to St Aygulf so that we can go to the beach on Sunday. The following weekend we will have a barbeque on the Friday and then go clubbing in an amazing night club in St Tropez. Then hopefully on saterday we will go to Nimes to party the night away to celebrate the Feria. As for during the week I’m sure I’ll come up with something but as I GET UP AT 6.30AM I don’t really like going out too late but that won’t stop you having a good time.I haven’t managed to contact my parents yet but hopefully I will reach them on time so that they can drop over some stuff for you to bring over to me.
So far the order is for Red Bull, Tayto crisps, tea and some rashers and saussages.I hope you don’t mind!
Well I’d better get back to work I’ve a lot to do and we finish at five today. PS sit on the right hand side of the plane for the best view of the Cote d’Azur.
See you tommrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Niamh Cogan
TS Responds: Yes, YES, This sounds like great fun. I’ve never been to the Costa del Thingy. Who are you, anyway?
“Vegi-Frau” WG: Pic.--Ursprüngliche Nachricht-----
Betreff: Pic !!!
Don’t laugh, its not a Guinnes !!! :-))
BIBA
TS Responds: Nobody’s laughing BIBA, nobody....
That shoebox stuff is bollocks
Dear Mr. K,
Though it is certainly true that I have never met you in person nor communicated with you to any degree, I believe I have the unfortunate duty to enlighten you in regards to your overwhelming gullibility concerning the contents of the articles contained in the Shoebox section of your Tomatoshoe web-page. Only a fool would believe them true, and only a rare kind of fool.
The articles are so obviously false that one would need to be operating under conditions of such self-delusion that Uncle Fillykins would eat his spanner - no, wait! I mean, that a fly banging against a titanium sphere would suggest more about the horror and pity of reality than a good round of spanking. Or something, y’know.
Read them again, and more carefully this time, and the validity of my criticism will be made immediately manifest.
GQNH
TS Responds: I’ve read them, Mr. Shanks has read them, and when I sent a copy by aerogramme to our man in Tangiers he did respond that he, like all of us, had no problem with them. Perhaps, oh GQNH, the problem lies in the “Byana Tree over the Attic” and not in our blessed ‘Shoebox’?.
Dope Wars
Hi threre Conor K. Whats the K for?I am sorry I forgot again about the Dope Wars. So here it is. A few tips: As soon as you can afford to, start selling the hard drugs. Pay off your loan as soon as you can. You have thirty days to sell as much as you can. Each trip on the tube is one day. Don’t forget world record: 32 million. Olivia’s personal best 17 million.If it doesn’t work change the file extension to .exe;Bon ChanceSee Ya later.
Olivia McCarthy.
PC anywhere link
Conor,Richard said to tell you that it is vital that we get a line for the PC anywhere link because we are having trouble emailing program alterations. Milpara isn’t accepting them very well. It’s better to have the PC anywhere link.Please get back to me on this.
Lisa Puckrin
Long Live Radiohead
Hey,My OWN email address - how could one person be so happy. Littlethings...
Just checkin’ it out. Seeing what’s what.
The only jobs going here are as my assistant. Now, much as I would love telling you what to do, I know you’d hate it, so I’ve got you an interview. You have to wear a black skirt and white shirt. OK, Ricky?
Oh to live on the edge of madness ....
Shearman-Jones Jennifer
TS Responds: The ‘edge’ of madness?
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