News: Special Forces Commando Unit to Find Bin Laden

Pentagon officials have pledged that America’s most wanted man, Ossama Bin Laden, will be caught within days, if not hours. Having exhausted all conventional intelligence means to snatch the Arab rebel, the joint chiefs have announced that a notorious ex-commando unit of Vietnam veterans, the famed “A-Team”, is winging it’s way to Afghanistan to get Bin Laden, Alive or Dead.

Until recently is was believed that the four men, Lieutenant Colonel John “Hannibal” Smith, Lieutenant Templeton Arthur “Faceman” Peck, Sergeant Bosco “Bad Attitude” Baracus and Captain H. M. “Howlin’ Mad” Murdock were making a living as soldiers of fortune in the Los Angeles underground. After September 11th, however, they immediately came forward and offered to help capture the master criminal.

“We were helping some nuns, whose village had been taken over by a group of Bolivian drug lords,” Lieutenant Colonel Smith told us, “Then we heard about the WTC and thought we better step in and teach those slime balls a thing or two.”

“Usually I won’t set foot in a plane,” Sergeant ‘BA’ Baracus is quoted as saying, “But my country needs my help, even if that crazy fool Murdock is at the controls. I’m doing this for the kids.”

Baracas (bottom left) is said to have put aside his differences with “Howlin’ Mad” Murdock (top left), for the good of the country.

Not everybody in the military is happy about the decision to allow the wanted men to go on this impossible mission, though.

“Those men are nothing but yellow bellied traitors,” says Colonel Roderick Decker, who has spent the better part of the last 30 years trying to find the A-Team and bring them to justice.

“Just because they are offering to help their homeland now doesn’t make them heroes, far from it, they just see this as another opportunity to profit from others misfortune.”

The “A-Team” have been on the run since 1972, after being implicated in a bank heist in Hanoi, at the end of the Vietnam War. The soldiers, members of a Special Forces commando unit, claim they were ordered to rob the Bank of Hanoi by their commanding officer, Samuel “Steve” Morrison. They succeeded in getting the loot, but Morrison’s headquarter was destroyed that same night in an artillery barrage and no proof therefore remained that they were acting under orders. Smith, Baracus, Peck and Murdock were sent to Fort Bragg, where they quickly escaped and began working as soldiers of fortune while on the run.

Colonel Decker managed to bring the men to trial in 1985 however, with the aid of the Captain Murdock (who was exonerated on the grounds of insanity) they escaped back into the underground.

Their whereabouts since then have been largely unknown, although it is rumoured that they were instrumental in the capture of the hijackers of Iberian Airlines flight 355, in August 1985. It is said the US military offered them a pardon for their actions and then reneged on the deal.

While the arguments rage on one thing is for sure, Hannibal and his men won’t rest until they have their man.

“I pity the fool who thinks he can get away with what he’s done,” Sergeant Baracus told CNN, before being drugged and carried onto a military plane bound for Central Asia.