#clog

Lucozade Bombers Defeated For Now

So they tried to bomb us again. Even worse – they are us! Have no fear though. Days before we decided to try to bomb us again UK Home Secretary, John “Resin” Reid announced the Government’s latest cunning plan to thwart those who wish to curtail our freedoms. The Government is going to make us give up our freedoms first. That’ll show ‘em!

It doesn’t stop there though, because you know those useless terror levels that the Americans have had since the World Trade Centre attacks, the ones that everybody has taken the complete piss out of the world over? (For example: “Better bring an umbrella today, the threat level is ‘Amber’. Honey, have you seen my amber sweater?”). Well now we have them in the UK too, oh happy day.

To stress the point, they (not that they, the other they) have placed the threat level at critical, which is one worse than severe, dontchaknow. This means we are to feel afraid (but not terrorised, that means they’d win) and are to be vigilant at all times. Once the level goes down, I guess we’re expected to return to being happy go lucky and ignoring all those abandoned bags on the tube.

A knock on effect of this has been that America has raised it’s level too, as the systems are in sync and… only they haven’t; they have raised the level to “Red” only for ‘planes arriving in the United States from the UK. Some alert that, they’re not just doing it to humour us then.

Of course you’d imagine that Tony Bliar would have his face plastered everywhere talking about defending our freedoms and that, only he’s not; the blighter got out of here just in time and is on a beach in the Caribbean. Lucky for him, I’d follow him, but I can’t get on a plane unless I’m naked and have no luggage. Anyway, you know what, he’s gone and left John “Two Shags” Prescott in charge. And they say the man doesn’t have a sense of humour, who’d have known?

I’d have stuck a We Are Not Afraid image on the site, but then I would have felt like a total knob.