No experience required, though good sporting knowledge an advantage particularly an understanding of the Offside Rule.

Good communication skills and infacta command of the English language useful.
…
A good memory is essential.

[http://www.recruitireland.com/job/?jobID=10012942]

Sammy Duddy, who died on October 17 aged 62, had a rather unusual curriculum vitae for a member of the Loyalist paramilitary Ulster Defence Association in having been a drag artiste who went by the stage name of Samantha.

During the 1970s the self-styled “Dolly Parton of Belfast” became well known on Belfast’s cabaret circuit, presenting a risqué act in Loyalist pubs and clubs, dressed in fishnet tights, wig and heavy make-up. Once he even performed for British troops on tour.

“I wore a miniskirt many a time,” Duddy remembered, “but it was usually a long dress, a straight black wig, a pair of falsies I bought in Blackpool and loads of make-up to cover my freckles. The darker the mascara the better, and scarlet lipstick, because I was a scarlet woman.”

…read more.

More on this over at twentymajor.net.

On the day of Ireland’s victory over England in rugby’s 2007 Six Nations Championship, that famous group of bright sparks that is Republican Sinn Fein staged a protest.

A protest against foreign games.

This picture says it all.

[courtesy of slugger and The ToryGraph]

Michael “Looney Loyalist” Stone, he of the recent “I am here to kill Gerry Adams” visit to Stormont, has said (via his solicitor) that his sojourn to the hill equipped with nothing but his wit (and an axe, a garrot, some guns and a handful of nailbombs) was not an attempted terrorist attack but in fact a piece of performance art replicating a terrorist attack.

Well, were any of us expecting that as a defence? What next, the Omagh bombing being hailed as an artistic commentary on the commercialisation of our society? Bloody Sunday, a cubist rejection of 1960s peace and love?

Undoubtedly Stone’s murder of six people, for which he got a prison sentence of nearly 700 years, was a complete misunderstanding then, with his appearance at the funeral of the three IRA members, who had been shot by the SAS in Gibraltar, in which he shot the place up was simply his expression of man’s inhumanity to man, using a sawn-off shotgun as his brush and the people in Milltown Cemetery as his canvas.

This isn’t Stone’s first foray into art though. After his early release as part of the Good Friday Agreement, he famously appeared in the Late Late show, showing Pat Kenny what a reformed character he was, painting pretty pictures and such. More recently one of his paintings has been offered on eBay for nearly £10,000.

This new “War as Art” idea could be just the thing to get DUP bigwigs Ian Paisley Jnr and Jeffrey Donaldson out of their latest spot of bother over a series of emails between themselves and convicted loyalist killer Kenny “Pastor” McClinton. In the emails, McClinton implies that actions he took, including a murder in May 1977, were in direct support of Ian Paisly Snr’s strike of 1977, making a connection between Loyalism and the DUP that the DUP haven’t been quick to deny.

The DUP, who have difficulty sitting in the same room as people from Sinn Fein (who have already stated that the “war is over”), have had no problem with the son of their glorious leader saying to McClinton that “We couldn’t kill them but we can destroy them and their ideology.” I didn’t realise the DUP were trying to kill anyone, thanks for clearing that one up Ian. Great to see you guys sticking to your guns, as it were, and not talking to terrorists.

Perhaps Ian and Jeffrey could just enter their “email as art” piece for next years turner prize? They would be head-to-head with Stone’s tour-de-force though, and you know what he’s like about surrendering.

As they say, I don’t know much about art, but I know what I like. And I don’t like any of these muppets very much at all.

The Northern Ireland Human Rights Council’s two-day conference, Building a Human Rights Culture in Northern Ireland, starts today. The NIHRC says its role is “to ensure that the human rights of everyone in Northern Ireland are fully and firmly protected in law, policy and practice.” However, does it practice what it preaches? The most significant assault by government upon our human rights is the ID Card Scheme and National Identity Register. Human rights group Liberty believes it has the potential to “…change our society and the way we live, forever.” What does the NIHRC think of this issue? ANSWER: Nothing.

In 2006 the NIHRC made 15 submissions – 3 on prisoners rights, 6 on policing and criminal justice, 4 on itself and associated work and 1 on victims and 1 on adoption. In one year, prisoners rights merit 3 submissions but an issue that effects everyone does not merit 1 over 3 years. Human rights for everyone?

[http://sluggerotoole.com/index.php/weblog/comments/human-rights-for-everyone/]

An Ulster used car dealer has had his dodgy cordless phone confiscated after airline pilots were entertained by “Arthur Daley-style banter about makes and prices of used cars”, The Daily Mirror reports.

Skyjockeys cruising at 25,000 feet through the Dean Cross air traffic sector – extending from Manchester to central Scotland – had been picking up “snippets of conversation” since last year, leading to concerns that haggling over used Ford Mondeos might “block out vital instructions from controllers on the ground”.

[http://www.theregister.co.uk/2006/11/28/dodgy_cordless_phone/]

If ever you wanted to explain the difference between the two parts of the island to someone, these two contrasting events may provide a useful starting point.

Anyway, this will come as a welcome distraction to our Pat, who is currently involved in a sticky land dispute [free registration required] with his neighbours in Dalkey, the Dublin suburb where Pat resides. Assumming this guy wasn’t his neighbour of course (which, I should point out right now, I am not suggesting!).

Someone has even made a dance remix of it and according to the sunday tribune t-shirts and other tie-in items are available.